We Provided... Leverage

If it hadn't been for Leverage, the last two years of my life would have been vastly different. Leverage allowed me to move to Portland and gave me the dear friends I made there (including Kat, without whom my moving to Portland would have been impossible and to whom I will be forever grateful). Leverage was the catalyst that made me focus on what I love (acting) and helped me make contacts that enabled me to do amazing things. The two Leverage conventions helped me make even more friends and learn amazing things about what fans can do when they really love something.

Christian's concerts taught me that letting myself really let go is the best feeling in the world and listening to a CD (while awesome) isn't the same thing. Aldis Hodge taught me to be effortlessly hilarious and appreciate a man's biceps (because dayum!). Beth Riesgraf taught me that enthusiasm is contagious. Gina Bellman taught me it's a helluva lot of work to be able to master accents and make it look easy. Tim Hutton taught me that even a big, fancy award doesn't mean you're a big, serious actor who doesn't know how to have fun. And Drew Powell (who was the guest star on the episode I loved working on the most: The Boy's Night Out Job) taught me how awesome he truly is (which is very very awesome indeed). The PAs and Extra Wranglers taught me that some people really do have infinite patience.

Leverage also taught me how TV works behind the scenes: how many people actually work so hard to make one hour-long episode; how things can go wrong a hundred times, but the one time they work it's magic; how watching actors on TV isn't nearly as fun as watching them play Segueway Football or make everyone fall about laughing; how producers are not money-grubbers who care about nothing but ratings, but hilarious, warm people who care about the show and the fans.

On the surface, the show is about Robin Hoods, about making things right. But it's also about making family out of friends and my fellow Grifters became a family for me when I was far away from my own.

Leverage made me not only a Grifter but part Hacker, Hitter, Thief, and Mastermind as well. I will always be a Leverage fan. Always.

How To Suceed While Sucking At What You Love

You have to admire Florence Foster Jenkins. She was an opera singer from way back when who sang professionally for forty years or so and played a sold-out show at Carnegie Hall, the prestigious and beautiful venue in New York City.

Here's the thing: she was a horrible singer. Like terrible. Like the yowling of cats in heat in an echo chamber was preferable to her singing.

Long story short, she sucked.

But she didn't seem to care. She believed in herself and her ability so goddamned much that she still played Carnegie frickin' Hall!

This gives me pause as I consider my own totally terrible singing abilities. I cannot sing any better than Florence Foster Jenkins and I am well aware of this fact. I love to sing and if I go a day without singing, even if in my own head, I... well... I can't actually remember going a full day without at least singing to myself or safe in my own head where it doesn't matter how I sound. (which for the record, is perfect and awesome without my inferior vocal chords getting in the way)

But when it's just me, when no one else has to hear and I get just the right song (don't let this phrasing fool you into thinking there's only a handful of songs in that category, there are actually legions. And I really mean legions as in the range of 3000 to 6000), I will belt it out like I'm at Carnegie Hall. Or, in my country music loving heart, on the boards of the Grand Ole Opry. Depends on whether it's a country song or a Broadway musical number.

So when I get down on thinking that I'll never make it as an actress, there stands the shade of Florence Foster Jenkins telling me to be glad I have talent at at least one thing I love to do and if I can get my self motivated I will get to the place I want to be, the place I'm supposed to be and I just hope I know it when I get there.

Survival

I love Television shows. Seriously. I'm that person who becomes over-invested in wanting couples to get together or who is jittery for a week after a beloved character's life hangs in the balance from a cliffhanger until the inevitable miraculous survival (or not). I mourn the lost of great characters like they were my friends because to me, somehow they are.

Two shows have changed my life. In a lot of the same ways Torchwood and Supernatural taught me how to be brave, how to fight and how to lean on the people there to help you just a little less than they lean on you.

Because no matter how dark and painful or how long it takes, Hell is always gotten out of. Sometimes, you just need an angel and someone to believe you can. There's someone there who will take your hand and make your travels less lonely.

Why Pegasus Are Better Transport Than Dragons

Dragons could be used as a weapon, where a Pegasus could be a better transportation system because it'd be like Victorian times, riding your horse everywhere, except your horse is
In.
The.
Air.

Plus, they can be used as weapons. Unless they hoove each other and other people to death, I suppose.

I really wanted unicorns, but I wouldn't be able to interact with them anymore. Unless they work on technicalities. We're going to need you to define 'virgin' a little better, Unicorns.

Top 11 Things I've Learned From Video Games

1. Just when you think you're going to die, you'll find enough heart to keep going.
   
   
2. No matter how many times your loved ones are taken in by bad things, you should still try to rescue them.
   
   
3. Explore everything, because the best treasures are never out in the open.
   
   
4. That little voice over your shoulder may be shrill and annoying, but you need to listen to it if you want to do things right.
   
   
5. Every party requires dancing.
   
   
6. Even chubby guys can be heroes.
   
   
7. Don't eat red and white mushrooms.
   
   
8. Just because it's in a treasure chest doesn't mean it's good.
   
   
9. The bosses get harder as you travel, but that's okay because you're getting stronger.
   
   
10. Talk to everyone; you never know who has information that will help you on your journey.
    
    
11. Good doesn't always triumph over evil, but sometimes that's for the best.

Spontaneous

So, The Girl texted me during the show last night and wanted to know if I wanted to do something spontaneous and fun for Pride. Since I've done little else for Pride this year (shame upon my GLBT head), I said yes and so arranged to meet up with her later at Hamburger Mary's (actually the block party across the street).
I got there and she kissed me hello and we watched a hysterical guy called Prince Poppycock perform. The songs had good beats and I bounced alongside The Girl, who held my hand basically all night. To my utter joy and contentment. We danced and sang along to "Bohemian Rhapsody? and took a picture with the performer (who had awesome gold glittery boots).
Afterwards. The Girl, her friend and I went walking, quickly deciding to go to Voodoo Doughnuts. I learned earlier that day that you can buy three hour old doughnuts in a bucket for $5 and this is what we decided to do. The doughnuts on the top were fine, but they got slimier and grosser the further down we moved. They were basically sludge at the bottom. So we ate our fill and wandered around Portland offering the remains to strangers. A meth addict took the whole bucket and we walked back to their car.
We made out a little and then they drove me home, because who wants to walk the streets when there are sugar-high meth addicts? Not me, my lieblings. After another long goodbye kiss and promises of noodles and gelato for our next date, The Girl left and I pulled a Charlie in my building. I got into the elevator and danced to Walking On Sunshine, playing in my head.

A Day in the Life of an Extra

We begin in holding, filling out paperwork so we can be paid for the unknown number of hours we are about to spent doing unknown amounts of scenes. This particular day it meant over twelve hours spent at the sound stage and one change of clothes that those of us dressed in our pajamas didn't have. Cut to wardrobe fittings, which when you are just an extra are kinda slapdash. The first pair of pants were too small to fit up my thighs and hips, while the second pair kept threatening to slide down them. But since I'm human furniture, there was no just right. Well, until Monday when I get to work again and bring my own clothes.

The work this day involved pretending an empty, awkward cardboard carried a giant TV and that I went in and out of a store about twelve different ways in different configurations. But the joy of being an extra is not in the work you do, which is often sporadic, ever-changing, tiring, and boring.
The best things about being an extra are working with other people and making new friends by the end of the day.

Because even if you know nobody there (and in this day's case, even if you do have a friend already), you will start talking to people you are near to. While you wait for shots to be set up, while you wait in holding, eventually you will start talking to someone, anybody. Most of the time it begins as comments on how tired you are or something about the set or location, but talk will come.

Another wonderful thing is watching the behind-the-scenes of (in this case) a national TV show. Some people find it ruins the magic, the mystique behind television, but I love it. I love watching the people running and sitting around and trying to figure out what they do. Or watching people who are highly paid actors, who may even have prestigious awards play around like they are a group of friends who just happen to be surrounded by crew and cameras. Sometimes, Segue Football is invented, sometimes footballs are thrown and missed and you get to toss a pigskin to an Academy-Award winning actor. Do you get to do that being IT or a receptionist? No my friend, you do not.

It's poorly paid and tiring and invisible and throwaway work most people will never see or notice. Nevertheless, I wouldn't give up the days like this where, for a moment, you are part of television magic.