Dear Eddie,
First off, I love you. Seriously. You're totally awesome and I feel you should be told. It's not just that your stand-up routines are hilarious or your dramatic television roles are brilliant, it's you. As a person. My twitter is regularly filled with marathons you're doing (fair play to you, I can barely make the trek to the farmer's market that is a whole half mile from my flat) and charities you're supporting. Not to mention the world events you link to. Which, as an American, is important. Our news channels tend to forget there's a world elsewhere, unless we're supposed to be deathly afraid of it.
So, I think we should totally get married and have babies and live happily ever after. I would have written a song about it, but I have no musical talent and @Molly23 already did that for Stephen Fry. Let me make the case for why you should marry me: I am young, have been told I'm pretty; I'm healthy and don't have a history of mental illness in the family (one generation or two isn't a history, is it?). I'm relatively clever and can hold my own in conversation at dinner parties. I'm not materialistic (except where books and movies are concerned) and would totally share my clothes with you. (Do you still have those cute heels from Dress To Kill? No reason, just a casual chat) I won't expect you to be funny all the time and will always tell you when your eyeliner is smudged.
Of course I don't expect you to marry me just off a blog post (though I'd be fine with it). So if you're ever in Portland, Oregon someday, give me a shout. Or you know, an actual message because while you won't attract strange looks in Portland by shouting 'Beth!' in the middle of downtown, there's a chance I won't hear you.
Love (and I mean it),
Beth Damiano
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